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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722347">nighthawk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacrisflorae/pseuds/sacrisflorae'>sacrisflorae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Barebacking, Bottom Na Jaemin, Coming Out, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mythical Beings &amp; Creatures, Smut, Teasing, Top Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, degrading, kinda angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:35:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722347</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacrisflorae/pseuds/sacrisflorae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>jaemin cannot sleep because of a hawk flying high above his head.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>nighthawk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i cannot believe i finally finished translating this whole shit. i hope y'all enjoy because it was exhausting work.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>it's night; dark and quiet like all the others. chill just as early autumn dawn could be. it's almost 4 am, the sky coloured with its most beautiful shade of purple and jaemin cannot sleep. to be honest, the poor boy was already used to it. he has been dealing with this terrible insomnia for weeks, which gets worse with every night of sleep.</p><p>the blond-haired boy rolls over the soft mattress again and stares at the white ceiling. streaks of light cut through the walls and allow his eyes to see something other than the pitch dark that probes him. he calmly counts his breaths: one, two, three… until he reaches the fifteenth and gets tired. the tactic his mother taught him stopped working long ago. na merely grunts and curls up on the soft, warm blankets. his eyes search out the window, on the right side of the room. the night sky, filled with small pale clouds and an extremely brilliant moon, makes him relax, but never enough to make him fall asleep.</p><p>jaemin only sighs tiredly and closes his eyes once more. he knows it won’t work, he is sure of it — he has been trying to fall asleep for hours with no results — but perhaps diving into the very existential void could make him escape his thoughts for a measly minute.</p><p>oh, no... jaemin cannot run away.</p><p>when it's not the same problem plaguing him for hours at a stretch, it is the sound of a hawk that flies through his mind until his body is so tired that the blond sleeps from weakness. his screams are loud, high-pitched so that the boy could swear oh his honour that the beautiful bird glides around his apartment, ominously owing him.</p><p>he opens his eyes once more to find the shadow of his ominous bird dancing across the ceiling. today he was there, whole, complete. on other nights, jaemin can only identify a wing, beak or just a feather. for the nocturnal studies that he did, the beautiful bird should be a solar symbol, of superiority and victory — for na, interestingly, it represents the perfect opposite: the unfinished dawn, the mediocrity of the soul and the defeat of an exhausted body.</p><p>the blond extends a hand towards the ceiling, trying to touch that distant image and fails. meanwhile, the arm remains raised. as if it's waiting for the bird to lower its foreboding and land gently on his fingers.</p><p>without hesitation, it does.</p><p>jaemin immediately withdraws his arm and looks out the window. the curtains, white and light fabrics that fall from the ceiling to the floor, dance softly with the cool breeze and, when calming down, reveal a picturesque figure perched on the windowsill. it’s not very big, it seems to be a little taller than a ruler, and it has a robust body. it subtly tilts his head to the side and stares at the blondie, his brown eyes piercing his soul with frightening ease.</p><p>a hawk.</p><p>the boy sits on the mattress, the covers running down his torso and showing his bare chest. at first, he can't believe what's in front of his eyes. one of his hands runs through his blond hair as he faces the noble bird, realising, finally, that this is not a mere illusion. slowly, his right foot slides off the bed and touches the cold floor. jaemin shudders and recoils, but his curiosity screams louder than any other emotion. he tries again, now aware of the floor temperature, and walks towards the hawk.</p><p>there are only a few steps (at most three), however hesitant. the blond has never seen a bird of this size in the big city of seoul, and fears being attacked. looking closely, he notes that the feathers have different shades of brown. its claws, like its bluish beak, are sharp and its eyes shine and cut like daggers. jaemin extends his left hand towards the exotic animal, trying to caress the plumage that appears to be soft, but receives a shout in response. the boy steps back, startled, and falls sitting on his bed.</p><p>and when he blinks again, he no longer sees an imposing hawk, but a boy with confident and daring looks, with dark skin and brown hair. "surprised, nana?" he asks with a sarcastic smile, completely ignoring the other's fear. "it is a pleasure to finally meet you."</p><p>jaemin doesn't know how to react. the boy sits comfortably at his window, not fearing the fall of ten floors to the ground behind him. his backs rest on the right jamb, one leg thrown into the room and the other resting on the windowsill, with his forearm equilibrating on his knee. as he is against the light, the blond cannot describe his features, however, the orbs shine brightly in a brown tone that resembles cinnamon.</p><p>minutes later, the blond boy seems to regain his speech. "who are you?"</p><p>and the one with the tan skin just smiles. "i am your follower." he sounds presumptuous, almost arrogant. “<em>a nighthawk</em>."</p><p>jaemin continues to stare at him (he only doesn’t dagger the other boy because interest suppresses anger). "who are you?" na asks again. "where are you from? what is your name? what..."</p><p>"hey, hey, hey!" the hawk cuts off. "calm down, little boy, one question at a time." the hands rest on the metal bar and the being jumps into the room. the small heel of the leather boots makes a thump when it hits the ground, but he couldn't care less about jaemin's neighbours. "starting with it doesn't matter where i came from, but we can say that i've been with you for a few days, perhaps a few weeks."</p><p>"now, my name is an interesting question..." he walks around the room and na follows him with his eyes. the brunet runs his hands over the pile of books on the desk and the shelves within reach. jaemin notices how long his nails are (maybe not exactly for a woman, but certainly for a man) and several golden rings adorn the phalanges. they are beautiful jewels, the perfect mix between the delicate and the robust, and the blond wonders how rich the other is. "my name is donghyuck (and you can add <em>hyung</em>), but i prefer people just calling me haechan." he picks up a handful of paper sheets on the table, a microbiology text for next thursday's class, and analyses it without much interest. "yours is na jaemin."</p><p>"how do you know my name?"</p><p>"i just know." haechan answer and drop the text where he found it. "just as you just know that the sky is blue, i just know that your name is na jaemin."</p><p>"nighthawk..." the youngest murmurs, trying to absorb this stream of information. "nighthawk..."</p><p>"<em>nighthawk</em>." he echoes. “and i'm not the only one. there are more like me.”</p><p>"more?"</p><p>a smile grows on the juicy lips. "tens, hundreds, thousands." with each word, he takes a step towards jaemin. “we are many, difficult to calculate. we choose our prey and its problems. we fly high above their heads during the day and prepare our nest outside their windows at night.”</p><p>and haechan gets close to the point where he can gently hold the other's chin. "poor thing..." he murmurs, a pout forming on his lips. "you can't sleep." the smile dominates his lips again, as wide as cheshire’s. jaemin feels the claws against his skin and hisses through his teeth. "you will probably blame me for torturing you with thoughts, but in the end," he laughs, so mischievous he seems to hum. "the thoughts are yours." the hawk releases the other and goes to the window, where he entered.</p><p>once again, haechan stands against the moonlight, and the blond is unable to see him accurately. only the hair dancing to the rhythm of the autumn breeze. jaemin gets up and walks calmly over to the other boy, but kind of hesitantly. "what do you do here?" every word drenched in anger and dripping with hate. the eldest, if he perceives the tone, does not seem to care and remains silent. "shit, just answer me: what the fuck are you doing here?" na repeats, shouts in the other's face (it is also at that moment that jaemin notes that he is a few centimetres shorter than the brunet).</p><p>haechan raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms in front of his torso. suddenly, na is intimidated by the other's pretentious stance, exuding power and superiority. jaemin may not be sure what a <em>nighthawk</em> is, but he knows that they are superior to humans. "waiting for an answer." he only says. the cold wind gaining intensity, making the little one shiver, since he doesn't wear a shirt. "or at least a position."</p><p>the confusion is visible on na's face. "what?"</p><p>the hawk sighs. “you have problems to solve, jaemin, don't you? that's why i'm here.” his arms fall at his sides. he starts to move forward, forcing the other to step back. “during the day, i watch you from far away, high above human heads. i fly in circles over you, allowing you to live your miserable life as if nothing wrong is happening.” they are already in the middle of the room. “but at night, i don't let you sleep. it’s at dawn that i start to fly around your apartment, so close that problems reappear and force you to stay awake for hours straight, wondering what to do.” haechan circles around his prey until the positions are reversed, and now na is against the light. "keep like this, and you will go crazy."</p><p>"the time has come, jaemin." the hawk takes a step back and spread his arms so that the youngest can almost see the feathers there, forming long, majestic wings. "and you need to solve your problems."</p><p>jaemin freezes briefly. his mind goes blank and all thoughts are gone, except one — <em>that one</em>. the tan-skinned boy with a devilish smile looks at him dangerously, challenging him. damn hawk eyes — eager, intense, menacing — who can tear their prey apart with so little. apparently, haechan is the reason he can't sleep, the epicentre of the whirlwind of ideas that cause his insomnia. na’s fists close tightly. come on! let's go! he's right in front of you, a straight punch will knock him down and he'll stop tormenting you!</p><p>but the blondie just laughs at his own thoughts. his fists loosen and he starts to admire the boy in front of him. finally, in this position, jaemin is able to observe all his features. the tan skin seems to sparkle delicately, as if a magical aura surrounds haechan’s body. the brown and wavy strands fall in disarray on the forehead and eyes, which, by the way, are the same colour as honey. his lips, red, plump, are well drawn and several moles are spread over the brown skin — the youngest managed to count at least seven.</p><p>na shudders. he thinks about closing the window and cutting off the icy winds, but jaemin knows that the other would complain that he is (again) running away from his problems. of course, haechan is not annoyed by the cold. the black silk shirt is not the most recommended for the autumnal climate, however the leather jacket he wears on top is. the dark jeans, completely ripped and full of chains also don't bother him.</p><p>but maybe the brunet was right, and the boy is just running away. always running away.</p><p>well, unless jaemin solved his problem tonight. right now.</p><p>so, this is what he does.</p><p>in an impulse of courage, jaemin launches against the handsome boy, and their lips meet brutally, a shock that comes to hurt. the other is not astonished, nor shocked, but he only pulls the light-haired one closer by the thin and delicate waist. na's flustered hands fly to the brown strands, and his mouth opens to deepen the kiss. the cold wind comes in through the window and makes the blond's body shiver, but the contact with the silhouette of the other is enough to make him boil inside and burn outside.</p><p>they break apart for a single second — enough to align their heads and take a breath. "fuck, your kiss is so good." the youngest finds, already panting.</p><p>haechan just laughs. “said the boy who’s not gay."</p><p>"i'm not gay."</p><p>"are you sure?" and haechan leads the younger body until he sits on the edge of his bed. "as far as i know, straight boys don't kiss other boys." the hawk pushes one of his shoulders, making jaemin lie precariously on the mattress.</p><p>na grunts, adjusting his position. "shut up and kiss me again."</p><p>the leather jacket falls to the floor, and the other climbs onto the bed, the sheets moulding to the new weight. "ah, human denial..." he laughs softly, crawling slowly towards jaemin. haechan, at that moment, stops being a bird to become a feline. however, he remains being the hunter, his sharp eyes and fangs reveal this. "there is nothing in the world more exciting than what humans can say and do to support their beliefs." he lowers his face, almost touching his lips to the younger one. the blond advances, wanting more, but the hawk retreats, teases. "your contradiction makes me want to fuck the truth out of that pretty little mouth." haechan whispers. "you know, jaemin, your voice is so beautiful, so nice to hear." the mouths almost touch again. "imagine moaning my name."</p><p>"get out," na growls. bared teeth, however, they are not sharp enough to intimidate. interestingly, it does not move the eldest away. “i’m straight.”</p><p>another chuckle, now from the back of the hawk’s throat. a dangerous laugh, the kind of you shouldn’t dare. "you keep lying to yourself..." haechan leaves a light kiss on the pinkish lips. his mouth creates a small trail to the left ear, and he whispers: "if you were straight, na jaemin, you would like to fuck a pussy, not to be fucked by another boy."</p><p>"i hate you."</p><p>“you don't hate me.” the hawk contests right away. "if you hated me, you wouldn't ask me to kiss you again." and he starts another kiss before jaemin could complain.</p><p>deep down, the blond knows that he doesn’t hate the hawk, perhaps only his confidence, arrogance and the lustful way the words flow from his mouth. it's a shame that na doesn't know, but haechan has seen and heard this same story several times. the nighhawk understands the human mind pretty well, dominates it quickly and has no time to lose — there are countless other men to annoy. the brunet has no patience for games that lead nowhere.</p><p>but the younger cannot meditate about this. at the moment, all he thinks about is the texture of other’s lips against his, the taste of other’s tongue against his. jaemin melts as far as reality allows him and, yes, he hates it. the hands travel to the brunet's shoulders, and the fingers pull, twirl the dark fabric while cursing the hawk's power over him. a weak moan grows from his throat as haechan's warm palms explore his body. they touch every inch of skin at their disposal, scratch the chest, contour the apparent muscles and hold the slender waist so tightly that the blond knows that purple marks will remain as a souvenir.</p><p>the two move away again. irregular breaths and swollen lips. the brunet positions himself between jaemin's legs, but the light blue pyjamas that the other wears bother him. the claws cling to the waistband and roughly pull the clothes down. haechan delights in the completely naked body, devouring it with his eyes. "straight..." he murmurs when he notices the stiff phallus. "if you were, you wouldn't be already this hard."</p><p>the blond simply rolls his eyes and prefers to ignore it. if he said anything, the hawk would surely retort it.</p><p>and since the youngest fully displays his nudity, the brunet starts taking off his own clothes. without hurrying, he unbuttons his shirt and, when he gets close to the end, he feels watched. "hmhmm..." a cynical smile adorns the beautiful lips. "the straight little boy can't take his eyes off of me..." the black fabric runs off his shoulders. he wraps and throws it out of bed, in any corner of the room. “do you like what you see, jaemin? do you think my body is beautiful? does it make you horny?” the hawk incites him with so many questions. "i bet you would love to feel every bit of it against yours."</p><p>"i don't know who sent you," jaemin gasps in surprise when the older man suddenly approaches, forearms beside his head. "but let them know that you are a worthless nighthawk."</p><p>haechan laughs softly. his lips start to explore the other's soft neck with small kisses. "i serve no one.” and his lips leave a hickey on na's adam's apple, a pinkish wound that will soon turn red. the petulant mouth marks all the skin it can. "i feel human problems, their denial and contradictions from afar, so i choose precisely my victim." jaemin pants with a bite just below his collarbone while the brunet smiles with the drawing of his teeth on the pale skin. "you know, nana, there are many like me out there, struggling to get the best remains," and he runs his tongue over the scar, subtly trying to relieve the pain. “but i always make a point of getting the most attractive prey."</p><p>"how..." jaemin breathes heavily when he feels the older boy's face close to his and their hips meet in such delicious friction. the blondie closes his eyes and tilts his head back, trying to focus on his thoughts as the waves of pleasure pass through his body. "how do you know what my problem is?"</p><p>the hawk never gets tired of delighting in his victim's naivety. "i just know, jaemin." the sharp claws caress his placid face, taking the strands the same colour as white gold from above his wanton eyes. "if i want to, i can get inside your mind and explore all your memories." haechan whispers dangerously again: "if i want, i can remind you of what you want to forget so bad."</p><p>jaemin immediately opens his dark orbs. they express the right dose of horror and indignation that makes haechan, inside, explode with pleasure. “you can’t…”</p><p>“can’t i do it?” and the hawk laughs, taking advantage and extracting as much as he can from this situation. "i can as much as i do." his hands quickly search for and secure na’s wrists above the blond strands. jaemin cannot escape, now trapped under the intriguing, irreverent, insolent bird. "or do you think i don't know that day that you considered fucking with the shy, muscular boy who studies with you?" his tone seems to get worse with each word. the once sweet voice now has room for arrogance. "if you want to know, he likes women <em>and</em> men and thinks you're cute."</p><p>"i hate you ..." sighs, barely able to speak or face the dark, sharp orbs.</p><p>but the hawk is made of disdain. "oh, are you sure?" and he provokes the blondie. "or is it just your superego putting defence mechanisms over defence mechanisms to protect your ego?" haechan releases his wrists and stands upright again. from the back pocket of his dark jeans, he pulls out a condom and a small bottle of lubricant. "the truth isn’t always pleasant, and now it's time to face it, na jaemin."</p><p>the youngest grunts dissatisfied, and he brings his hands to cover his eyes. "i still hate you the same way." he mumbles.</p><p>“great,” the tan boy comments without caring. "but now turn around if you don't want to be in pain."</p><p>reluctant, to say the least; jaemin thinks twice before accepting the order and lying on his belly. his arms hug the pillow, and he squeaks as strange hands hold and lift his waist. thus, the blond supports his knees on the mattress, soon being pushed away by the eldest. "position yourself right." haechan asks, na only mumbles intelligible words.</p><p>skilled hands separate the soft, chubby buttocks and touch the circle of pinkish muscles. jaemin hisses at the contact, a cold substance against his warm skin. "what the fuck is that?"</p><p>"lubricant." a finger slowly penetrates him. "if it was cum, it would be hot."</p><p>and jaemin laughs sarcastically, hands grabbing the pillow as they can. "funny." he mumbles again. "i bet you ran away from the circus."</p><p>the hawk ignores him, continuing his work. one finger, two, three. the phalanges go in and out, scissoring until the blond sits a little more comfortable with the intrusion. the lubricant doesn't bother him anymore, and the sound of the thrusts causing something inside him. jaemin’s phallus stiffens completely, small gasps escaping his lips as the touch becomes more intense and pleasurable.</p><p>then the fingers pull away abruptly. "face me." haechan asks. "it won't be that uncomfortable that way." again, na obeys. "and spread your legs right."</p><p>"bossy." jaemin grumbles.</p><p>"dominant," the hawk corrects him. “this is more beautiful.</p><p>“same shit…” the younger rests his head on the pillow. jaemin watches the brunet unbuckle his belt, unfasten the button and zipper on his jeans. he needs to hold the groan deep in his throat, refusing to humiliate himself even more because he can't control his instincts. haechan lowers the fabrics, holding the stick upright with one hand and pumping it slowly. small gasps escape from the full lips as the head slowly tilts back.</p><p>however, jaemin still has a question: "won't you take it off?" he vaguely indicates the pants with the dark orbs.</p><p>the hawk looks at him again. "i don’t want to.” he answers bluntly, a smile growing from the corner of his lips. “it makes my legs look so fucking hot."</p><p>"that's not fair."</p><p>"you are in a position to ask nothing, jaemin." haechan sits between the youngest's legs. the hands grab the plump thighs, nails digging in the flesh mercilessly and extracting a gasp from the blondie. "and you know pretty well that life isn’t fair." the little boy remains silent. "it will hurt a little," he warns. "but nothing that will kill you."</p><p>jaemin chuckles, humourless. “cutie…” and in the next moment, he understands what the other means. the blond bites his own lower lip and grabs the sheet as he can. it burns, but it is not unbearable. na closes his eyes, inhales and breathes calmly. something inside he tells him that the tension will not help you at all.</p><p>"it really won't." he listens to the elder agree. “relax, jaemin. soon it will pass, and you will understand why it’s so good to fuck with another man.”</p><p>jaemin grunts, displeased. the hands drop the sheet so that the forearms cover his eyes. na snorts and counts his breaths. one, two, three, four... at a certain point the blondie loses count (the consequence of not being good at math), but the tension drains from his body. still uncomfortable, he feels invaded and somewhat violated, but seems to be well enough to say: "you can move."</p><p>haechan smiles. the brunet arranges jaemin’s legs around his waist and lowers his torso so that he covers the smaller body with his own. the hawk carefully removes the forearms over na's eyes and rests his hands on the side of his head. "don't even think about being shy, little boy." then he moves his hips.</p><p>he starts out slowly, a little uncertain, just sensing how the blond’s insides are like. haechan lets out little gasps, discovering how hot and tight the boy under him is. the hawk refuses to intensify his thrusts in that first moment, realising that the youngest is not yet fully accustomed to this recent feeling.</p><p>then haechan bends down to capture the blond's lips. it’s not a sweet nor calm kiss, but full of lust and debauchery. jaemin completely melts in the kiss, the walls around him fall, and he surrenders without a fight. he allows himself to be dominated by the hawk that has become his greatest omen. their mouths move synchronously, and their tongues dance the most perverse of dances. na throws one hand at the brown strands and the other at the bare backs. the nails stick in the skin, and the hips are pushed towards the other while the little boy asks for more.</p><p>they split up, their breath being to blame for it. jaemin looks ethereal like that, in the hawk's view: damp eyes, flushed cheeks and swollen lips. his hips are no longer able to resist such stimuli and move rashly. the youngest closes the dark orbs and groans trickle out of his mouth. the hand holds the brown strands tighter, and this only stimulates the brunet to go harder.</p><p>the mouths remain close, and the breaths are merged. haechan leans on his forearms to achieve more stability and fuck the blondie with greater strength. his gasps and grunts meet na's whines and moans, creating a unique symphony of lust. at this point, none of them cares about the neighbours. they probably already know what happens in jaemin's room by the erotic sounds and the repeated tapping of the bed against the wall.</p><p>"haechan..." the youngest whimpers, trying to keep his eyes open. unfortunately, he fails miserably when a lunge reaches his sweetest point. the beautiful body arches as it can and a groan echoes through the room, breaking the peaceful aura of the night.</p><p>the brunet just laughs, breathing heavily from physical exercise. “i knew my name would look beautiful in your mouth. you should moan it more often. ”</p><p>"shut up and fuck me." jaemin protests and pulls the hawk for another kiss, giving him no chance to respond.</p><p>jaemin gets lost in the pleasures of the flesh. every bit of his body seems to burn, his blood seems to bubble. the hard cock hits against the abdomen and the blondie never imagined that he could get that stiff. na moans during kisses and, if he believed in the christianises of the world, he is sure that the gates of paradise would close in his face. fortunately, he couldn't care less, and he only thinks of drowning in the sin that the hellish hawk is.</p><p>"fuck ..." he whispers after they break apart. the orbs open and the blondie finds the figure of haechan on top of him. half lidded and wanton eyes, parted lips and hair glued to the forehead by sweat. na can't contain his whining and quietly asks: "stronger ..."</p><p>the brunet simply laughs. he lowers his face, so his mouth reaches the cartilage of another's ear. “did you say anything? i couldn't hear it. ” teasing again, not losing his habit.</p><p>but jaemin is so far away that he doesn't even try to rebuild his walls to protect himself from the hawk's attacks. "stronger." he repeats, louder now.</p><p>haechan arranges the legs around his waist and repositions his forearms on the mattress. he smiles broadly, maliciously: "i'll gladly do it."</p><p>and the smallest moans, loud and clear, the name of the one who has been tormenting him for so many days. the rhythm that the eldest establishes is brutal, almost animalistic. greedy hands go down the backs, already moistened with sweat, and create red welts, scarlet paths where his nails have passed. jaemin whimpers, cries out for the other in such a way that he never imagined himself doing. his mind no longer acts as before, it only asks: "more, please..." without any modesty. all thoughts are gone, leaving only the notion of what pleasure is, how good it is and the need to always feel more. "haechannie, more ..."</p><p>the hawk only laughs, just delights in the destroyed figure of the youngest. he has witnessed this scene so many times that he is no longer surprised, but it never ceases to be beautiful and exciting. "isn't it good?" he asks rhetorically, but the blondie nods vehemently. "you know i can see every detail of your mind and how you can't even think of anything else than asking for more." haechan laughs a little more, trust overflowing with his actions. "having sex with another man is the most addictive of the drugs because, after the first dose, you will always beg for more."</p><p>meanwhile, the youngest just begs: "haechannie ..."</p><p>but the brunet’s hips don't give him a single second off. the sound of meat pounding against flesh intoxicating na’s ears to the point that he has to struggle to understand haechan's words. “you will never be satisfied again, jaemin. you will continually look for a new fuck with several different boys until your body begs you to stop.” the gazes connect, and the blond regrets bitterly his act. he fears, more than ever, the predator's orbs on him, waiting for the right moment to tear him apart with his beak and take advantage of his carcass. the youngest doesn’t even know if he believes in what he sees or if the eyes of the older one have really turned yellow and threatening. “but the mind is different, nana... do you know why? it takes time to get sick, and even if you are exhausted, with cum in all your holes, it will ask for more and you will obey.”</p><p>jaemin can't take it anymore. he feels ready to explode, to disappear completely. the knot in the lower abdomen grows dangerously, and the boy knows what that means. "please..." he gasps. "almost..."</p><p>haechan doesn't listen to him. “at the end, you become a slave to your own addiction and, let me tell you a secret, jaemin:" he lowers his face again, his lips too close to the blondie's left ear. the hawk only whispers, each word spoken slowly: "you will love it."</p><p>so jaemin gives up. "haechannie..." the youngest body burns. the knot loosens with such force that intense jets of cum stain his abdomen. the orgasm takes over his mind, numbing his whole being for a few moments with the high dopamine discharge. "haechan..." he murmurs, without strength, eyes closed and tired.</p><p>but the hawk merely laughs. "we're not done yet, little boy." the blond opens his orbs again to find the brunet lifting his trunk, standing upright while facing the body under him. in this position, strips of light paint the tan skin and highlight the beautiful torso, the muscles defined in the right proportion. perhaps haechan was not a mere hawk, but an immortal, divine being. perhaps it was the embodiment of horus making him delirious on his sheets. his hands search for jaemin's waist, and they cling there with such force that na knows that they will leave marks the next morning. the older one connects the pairs of eyes, and now jaemin is sure that they shine with the purest yellow, accompanied by a malicious smile forming on his full lips and his hip to move mercilessly.</p><p>jaemin's spine arches and a long moan runs down the pink lips. the blond is sensitive, exhausted by the orgasm he has had, but the other's cock going in and out of him is too good to reject. the hands clumsily grab the sheets while the thrusts intensify. it's a fast, aggressive pace, but nana loves it.</p><p>it is at that moment that he understands the older boy's words and comprehend the level of his addiction. this is only the first dose, but he’s already thirsty. it's just the first gram, the first line, the first candy, the first injection, but na needs more. his eyes roll over, yet another groan echoes around the room at the thought of how nice it would be to have haechan's warm cum dripping between his buttocks — and, who knows, perhaps one day, down his chin.</p><p>it's only the first dose, and na jaemin has already become addicted to this powerful drug.</p><p>"fuck, nana..." the brunet gasps. the hips collide painfully, the sinful noise echoing off the walls of the room and ringing in the youngest's ears. "i didn't know your ass could be so fucking good..." and he grunts, the sound ripping through his throat.</p><p>jaemin whines softly, his lips forming the phrase <em>please</em>, but no sound comes out. the hands on his waist squeeze painfully, but it feels so good. the thud of another's pelvis against his buttocks can hurt, but it feels marvellous. the cock going in and out of him repeatedly, forcing him to endure the sensitivity is agonising, but he likes it. and in the next moment, haechan groans loudly, his hot cum filling and painting the blond boy's tight walls white.</p><p>then a brief lull.</p><p>the hawk retracts from the youngest — the one who moans softly — and lies down beside him. they both breathe profoundly, sweat running down their skins and messy hair. jaemin closes his eyes for a brief moment and finally realises that he could fall asleep quickly. "not over yet." he hears the other say. jaemin takes a look in his direction and catches haechan fixing his pants and zipping up. he probably knotted the condom and tossed it on the side of the bed. "i still need your answer."</p><p>the blond laughs tiredly. "i fucked you." the eyes wander over the exposed chest. the well-designed muscles rise and fall calmly. "i think it's self-explanatory."</p><p>haechan looks back. even after a fuck, his eyes are still dangerous. "you are smart, jaemin, and you know what you like, you know what you are attracted to." he corroborates it while supporting his entire body weight on his right forearm. "but if you keep denying it, lying to yourself, then you haven't solved the problem, and i won't be leaving." the left hand flies to the other's jaw, the nails pierce to the tender flesh. jaemin hisses in pain. "and you can be sure that next time it will be worse because you will be already insane."</p><p>na takes his hand away. "i won't." he insists. “do you want me to say that i like men? that i'm gay?” suddenly, he reverses the positions and lies on top of the brunet, sitting on his pelvis and holding his wrists beside his head. his gaze, in that single moment, becomes as potent as those of a phoenix in full combustion. "okay, then: i'm attracted to men, i'm gay."</p><p>and haechan smiles, pleased with the change in attitude. he easily detaches from the blond's hands and sits, holding the other's waist. "great." the hawk only says and kiss na's neck. one hand grabs the light strands and places his mouth against jaemin's ear. "go back to denying the truth, and you know what awaits you."</p><p>the youngest remains silent, doesn't know what to say. the brunet comes out from under his body and collects the clothes on the floor. "are you leaving?" jaemin is afraid to sound too disappointed.</p><p>"i already did my job." he responds while putting on the silk shirt. haechan doesn't have to look at the buttons to put them inside the houses. “you gave me an answer, didn't you? for the first time in weeks, you thought you could sleep as soon as you closed his eyes.” the hawk puts the fabric inside the pants and looks for the leather jacket, then wears it too. "i don't need to torment you anymore." jaemin's beautiful features are saddened, and the brunet pretends not to see them so that his departure is not more painful than it already is.</p><p>when he finishes dressing up, the hawk walks to the open window. the wind seems to get colder as the hours progress through the violet dawn. he closes his eyes and feels the breeze caressing his hair; haechan is a creature of the skies, the night dome and the currents belong to him. after a short moment, the older man looks again at jaemin, his victim. not every hunter needs to be aggressive — they all hunt and kill, but not all destroy. in this case, the brunet knows that the real massacre is not visible, but it was done anyway. "goodbye, jaemin," he says. "it was good to tease you for so many days."</p><p>then he goes up to the window, the same one that entered, and jumps towards the starry night.</p><p>the blond boy is stunned for a moment until his mind produces a mere click. <em>shit, he threw himself off the tenth floor</em>, jaemin thinks frightened.</p><p>jaemin runs to the window, heart in his mouth, pulsing so much it looks like it's going to explode. his hands grasp the windowsill and half of the body rests on the outside, suspended in the air. the eyes run through the night, worried and anxious, but they cannot find the other boy.</p><p>then he hears the hawk's scream.</p><p>the blond looks up, towards the purple sky, and finds the reason for his sleepless nights. the tan boy is gone, and now the majestic bird is flying peacefully among the stars. jaemin smiles wide, his heart returning to its normal rhythm. he mumbles goodbye, uncertain whether haechan could still enter his mind, and he returns to his bed. in weeks, this will be his first night of sound sleep.</p><p> </p><p>the dawn light passes through the open window without restrictions and meets the sleeping boy's eyes. he grunts and scratches his eyelids. the white gold threads shine in such illumination as jaemin struggles to wake up.</p><p>sticking one hand under the pillows, he finds his mobile phone. it's saturday, 8:49 am, the bright screen reports before returning to its dormant state. the boy sighs with relief when he thinks he doesn't need to study and could sleep for a few more hours (as long as he closes the window).</p><p>with his eyes still sleepy, he sits on the mattress and hesitates to put his bare feet on the cold floor. jaemin keeps rubbing his eyelids, trying to improve his eyesight, and as the blondie takes the covers off himself, he notices something strange, something wrong. his pants, in the groin area, appear to be wet.</p><p>the blond contorted his features and is forced to touch the area to find out what it is. disgusted with the situation, he brings his fingers close to his nostrils to check his thoughts: cum.</p><p>quickly, he clears the digits on the cover, and his eyes move to the nightstand. an open book rests beside the off lamp. jaemin knows the name of the copy well, <em>the dictionary of obscure sorrows</em>, but he fears to get too close and be able to read the word in italics at the top of the page.</p><p>
  <em>nighthawk.</em>
</p><p>his mind shuts down. the thoughts disappear for a single moment and then return with all intensity. jaemin buries his face in his own hands while feeling the shame taking over his body. his cheeks burn a bright red as his conscience condemns him hard.</p><p>na jaemin had an erotic dream about his best friend, lee donghyuck; also nicknamed haechan, the epicentre of his thoughts and the reason for not being able to sleep.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i don't think it was a dream.</p><p>oh, follow my nsfw acc on twitter: @prettybnnie</p></blockquote></div></div>
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